Children, Grandchildren and Grandparents

Alas, times are changing, and not necessarily for the better!


These days bring with them even ‘unseen’ changes: changes that were once normal in families now turning, more and more, into a priceless loss. What am I talking about? Why, the changes that have gradually become part of today, changes of how our grandchildren perceive their Grandparents once they begin to grow up; you know, when respect goes out of the door, so to speak. One did not see this kind of ‘disconnect’ in times gone by, and I don’t know whether you have ever taken a closer look at what we have here, compared with how such relationships are really meant to be between these two extremes of the family hierarchy.


In fact, generations are such that the ‘elder’ and the ‘young’ have a mutual affinity and natural attraction, provided that the parents bring their young up correctly, with this in mind. If the young ones are properly attended to they, quite naturally, will wish to dine in the same company as an elder—grandparent. If the ‘ways’ that are now gradually becoming defunct were to be brought back into keeping, there would be a natural propensity to get along with all ages; such as is still being exampled in other cultures of the world. And the older generation, too, should recognise there has to be an ‘ending’ cycle for a ‘connecting’ cycle to begin.  


Many ageing generations think that to stay young means dressing like the youth, or emulating their habits and lifestyle. But adopting such measures only highlights a lack of foresight on their part, since an opposite effect takes place because the youth have nothing in common with such, modified, people. Indeed, the more senior person can always have a youthful heart and soul, but this does not mean, nor necessitate, running hand in hand with actual youngsters.

To have an overflowing heart with one’s soul is something to be understood with the passage of time. As one absorbs the experiences of life recognising such experiences as matters within which to integrate the young/youthful person, such defines (to the youth, also) the grace of growing old…whilst still overflowing with youthfulness.


Correctly brought up, an aspiring youngster wishes to hear and learn from the experiences of an older person, but should their parent not act as a dividend between, shall we say, a 20 year old and a 60 year-old, then a gap in society is created which, by its very nature, forces discord. However, if a parent teaches their child a warranted respect of the older person (for instance, a grandparent) then the parent, in respecting their parent, (even if only in the company of the youth) causes the young person to become fascinated, thus wanting to know how it was when their grandparent was 20. But if the ‘middle’ generation--being children to their parents--carry an hierarchical attitude of appearing to ‘know it all’ to both their parents and their own children, then ‘muddy waters’ ensue, with no clear boundary, and a ‘healthy’ connection between grandchild and grandparent cannot be made; for the youth, an inherent state of ‘lack’ becomes the case. In the course time, the ‘youth’ becomes the ‘senior’...without any ‘wherewithal’ whatsoever to connect with the present youth.



And therein we have today’s society, amongst whom a vicious cycle exists with no evolving taking place in terms of wisdom and understanding. These are they who now throw cold water on the dreams of today’s youth because there has been no steady flow first towards themselves, hence leaving a gaping hole of wisdom and knowledge! Can you see this? These are those persons ‘mechanical’ in civilisation! These are they who oppress the younger generation. The youth intrinsically know and feel they are deprived, but it is the deprivation ‘their’ parents (or else mechanical man) have fashioned for them out of their own lack.


The loss then becomes reactive, and anarchy or depression lie amongst the symptoms of such a state! What often happens is that the son(s), or daughter(s), of the ‘senior’ (grand) person have relegated them, thus denying them the crucial relationship earned, by divine right, with their grandchildren. And such does not bode well since, in turn, their children (the middle generation) are then to be deprived of that which in ‘their’ later lives will be a very telling thing—a loving, informative, respectful relationship with their grandchildren. One generation may act correctly towards their off-springs who, as in days gone by, then wished to know their grandparents. But you only need to look back in your family line and close friends to see how it was back then, and how it has rapidly changed since. Not all change is good. These are very sad times if the necessary parental, hierarchical, links break...only to be broken for all time. As a social species we are meant to respect each generation accordingly, thus allowing the existence of a mutual respect throughout all generations.


By sharing these ideas we highlight how we can all be intrinsically alive, and relevant, regardless of physical age. The young do want to know how it was for the old and, likewise, the old do wish to know how it is for the young. These days the attitude of ‘competing’ seems to be paramount and is seen in all walks of life, but don’t let it destroy the beauty and advantages of how it is to stay young whilst growing old. All of the generations, whether it be the young, middle-aged or senior, should flow seamlessly in order that mankind may evolve and be forever youthful. Think about it!





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